Mr Z is such a gentleman..

Mr Z was just here and it ended with Me slamming the door in his face after calling him a son of a bitch. I was fuming and I am still upset. I hope I don't run into him and that he keeps his mouth shut if I do.

Mr Z has kittens that I watched for him, for free, both when he left for Ankara and when he urgently left because his friend was ill. One of them destroyed My earphones and when I told him about it he said don't worry, he would buy new ones for Me. To Me it is kind of important because I need them to sleep and you all know My current financial situation.

Today when I wrote to him reminding him about it, he came around here and was angry and demanded money for the rainboots he bought for Me a few months back (I thought it was as a gift) and that I return the money he sent me when he was away. I never asked him to send Me any money or to buy the boots but it all equals $40 in total. He spent so much time here, behaved like My boyfriend, took up My time, drank My wine, ate My food and now he is asking Me for $40?! What am I missing here? Does this mean that I should charge him for the unsatisfying sex we had and the cat sitting I did for free? I'm just asking..

It is sad when you genuinely liked someone and they just use people. I missed him so much when he was away in Ankara and I was longing for him to come back but when I realized that his words were all empty and he left Me in a really difficult predicament then I lost all feelings. It became even worse when he said some really insulting things to Me about who I should date. I totally flatlined, and now when I look at him I just feel disgusted. I can't be with a man I can't trust, who doesn't have My back and doesn't care for Me, I just can't.

I want a genuine, loving D/s relationship with My main partner and possibly lovers. It goes against all of My personal beliefs to use people, I cannot be with a person just because of his money. I would feel sick to My stomach. I still believe in love, but I am really disappointed in so-called men. This is why I want a generous and genuinely submissive man. I am so done with the vanilla men that you wouldn't believe it!

I need to meditate and perhaps use Neville Goddards revision technique and revise the situation. I definitely didn't need this extra drama in My life. Oh, I really hope My visitors will come in January, I need something positive to look forward to.

~ Lady Blaze 💋